“No. That’s not an option,” Tyler declared resolutely.
“Think about it, Tyler. It’s the best solution—”
“I said no!” he snapped, attracting attention again. His amber eyes blazed like fire. “Are you honestly telling me you’d be happy with that idea?”
“I’ll eventually be. Your business gets back to running smoothly. No one will have to worry about me getting special treatment, and I won’t have to feel self-conscious about what people are saying behind my back.”
He shook his head adamantly. “No, I don’t like it.”
“It’s not like I’ll be moving away. I’ll search for something nearby. We’ll carpool—”
“No!” he repeated, scowling incredulously. “Us separating and hiding — who would actually benefit? Them?” He gestured to everyone on the terrace. “Certainly not me.”
“But it hurts me to see you lose anything because of me, whether it’s a business deal, a proposal, or people’s respect. I don’t want to be the cause of you being left with nothing.”
“I would be left with nothing if you leave because you mean more to me than anything else. If it hurts you now to see me at a loss, imagine how it’d be when the two of us have to separate. And for what? To please others? These people, they don’t care about your happiness. Why should you have any concerns for them? I care for your happiness. Consider me and what I want for us. Consider yourself and what you truly want. I’ve chosen you, so all I care about is us. You need to make that decision as well. It’s us or them.”
I studied his conviction, wishing I had the same confidence. I knew that if I didn’t care about the impact of people’s opinions, I would easily follow my heart. I would follow him. All this time, it felt wonderful to love freely, holding nothing back. But things had changed. He was even more important to society now. People needed him. I would only stop him from reaching his potential.
Fear crept over his face the longer I stayed quiet. He clutched onto my hands. “I know I’m already asking a lot from you, and dammit, I’m asking for more. Just give us some time. If you feel like you absolutely cannot go on working here, we’ll reconvene. But for now, can you just wait and see how everything plays out? I know everything is crazy now, but it’ll pass. I promise.”
His pleading tone tore at my heart. I could no longer tell if it would be more detrimental if I stayed or left, but what I did know was that he had just overcome his fear of public speaking and gave an impeccable presentation. He should have been downstairs celebrating his success, and I should have been celebrating with him. Not sitting here, fearing the worst. I squeezed his hands just as hard as he was squeezing mine. I had to make the most out of every moment while he still wanted me, before I’d see him slipping through my fingers.
“Of course. I’d choose you over anyone.”
He sighed with relief, but then shook his head like I had misunderstood something. “You really have no choice. I was already yours at the beginning. You and I, we can get through anything as long as we do it together.”
Tugging my hand, he pulled me out of my seat and onto his lap, taking a moment to simply hold me.
***
“Tyler, you’re up!” Arnav, with a sneaky grin, waved a ping-pong paddle in our direction. Tyler and I had been standing off to the side of the game room, watching the men battle it out at ping-pong. Arnav had defeated everyone thus far.
“I’m good, you’re the winner,” Tyler declared placidly, his arm around my waist tightening. Since our conversation out on the terrace, he had not taken his hand off me once. It would seem that the only thing I had accomplished by talking out loud was rekindling Tyler’s fear of me running away. I mentally berated myself for being so petty and overly sensitive. There was no need for Tyler’s insecurities to worsen due to my own. The truth was, I was the one at risk of losing him, not the other way around. Even if that were the case, losing me would be inconsequential to him. I, on the other hand, had grown increasingly dependent on him over the past few weeks. I relied on him, not only for work, but for everyday simple matters too. Like coffee, dinner, access to the gym, ample clothing options, and, most importantly, dreamless nights after being fucked so hard I was seeing stars. I had much to lose should he leave. My stomach churned at the thought of it happening tonight, after telling him everything.
“I’m not a winner until I beat you. Come on! I’ve been practicing,” insisted Arnav.
“Don’t bother, man,” said Sean. “No one can beat Tyler.”
I looked up at Tyler, pleasantly surprised. “You know how to play ping-pong?”
“A little,” he answered, a touch of embarrassment flickering across his face.
“He’s being modest,” said Lauren over at the couch. She, Mindy, and Alaina were sitting on the other side of the room, facing a video game system that was currently off. She went on, speaking with her back towards us. “I’m pretty certain Tyler leads a double life as a professional table tennis player.”
The others bobbed their heads in agreement.
“Really,” I gasped, awestruck, then whispered so that only he could hear, “So Asian.”
“So racist,” he whispered back.
“Come on, Tyler. I need to redeem myself,” Arnav insisted again.
I shifted around in Tyler’s embrace, wiggling my shoulders while I gently coaxed, “Please? I want to see you play.”
He regarded me with a bemused expression and soon relented. “A quick game. That’s it,” he said to Arnav.
I hopped off his lap and shuffled aside, letting him take his place at the end of the table. Arnav promptly stepped into position, aiming the ball with intense focus. Tyler coolly picked up the paddle, his wrist and form relaxed. With a quick tap of his paddle, Arnav sent the ball flying, but no sooner, it was returned. It all happened so quickly, Arnav didn’t even have a chance to react.
“Not cool, man!” Arnav said, pointing the paddle at Tyler. “You’re showing off to Lana. Play real.”
“You want me to go easy, or do you really want to play?”
“Fine, whatever. I’ll let you have that one.”
Tyler shrugged indifferently. Arnav served the ball again, and once more, Tyler struck it back with precision. The ball landed precisely on the edge of a corner before it coasted in the air. Arnav missed it by an arm’s length.
“Damn,” said Sean, baffled. “Have you been going easy on us this whole time?”
“Just want to finish this quickly,” Tyler answered, his lips curling arrogantly. He was appreciating my star-struck face when the little white ball shot past him.
“Ha! Point for me!” Arnav announced, raising his paddle into the air.
“It’s my serve,” Tyler corrected him.
“Right…dammit. Lana, distract him.”
“No, I want to see him win!” I said, giggling.
Tyler retrieved the ball and then served it by tapping it lightly. Arnav managed to strike it back far enough that Tyler had to dive a foot away from the table, swinging it back hard. The ball zoomed across the net, skimming the table before continuing its trajectory through the air. Tyler smirked at Arnav’s stunned face while I hopped up and down, clapping in excitement.
The game went on, with Tyler serving at an impossible speed and Arnav hitting back with too much force, skipping his opponent’s side of the table entirely, and at one point, striking Mindy in the back of the head. After she berated them with a storm of curse words, Tyler adjusted his way of playing, though still kept it challenging. The ball blurred back and forth across the table, and Arnav skillfully hit each one in return. That was until Tyler, apparently bored, started striking again. Ball after ball came zooming past Arnav. Before long, the game was over.
Tyler calmly set his paddle down. “I think…I won,” he mused in an act of surprise before turning to me. I squealed and clapped for him, throwing my arms out for a hug when he approached. He gladly returned my embrace, chuckling in my ear. “I didn’t know I was dating a cheerleader.”
I laughed. “I really was a cheerleader in high school.”
“Seriously?” he replied, his eyes wide but pleased. “Wow, a nerd dating a cheerleader. What an odd match.”
“Not for me,” I said, running a finger down his chest. “I’ve always had a thing for nerds.”
“Hey, Tyler,” Sean called. “Frank wants to play you.”
Tyler looked over his shoulder at the table. “Really?”
Frank answered with a single nod.
“Okay. I’ll go easy.”
Unlike Arnav, Frank eagerly agreed to a less challenging game. It was probably the most excitement I had ever witnessed coming from him.
“You go play,” I told Tyler, “I need to talk to the girls.”
“Oh,” he said, his face suddenly wary. “What about?”
“Just…checking on them. See how they’re all doing,” I told him truthfully. I smiled and rubbed his arm when his face darkened further. “Don’t worry, I’m not running away again — no matter what they say. I promise.”
He reluctantly nodded and watched me join Lauren and the other women before meeting Frank at the table. Noticing my approach, Lauren scooted over and made room for me at the end of the couch.
“Hey…” I greeted them hesitantly before taking my seat. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”
“No, not at all,” Alaina said with a wave of her hand as she casually leaned back into her recliner. “We were just discussing who should go downstairs to fetch some drinks. I heard they’ve opened up the vodka.”
“Wow, seriously? They have that stored in the office?”
“Yeah, hidden somewhere and saved for special occasions. Which is why we want someone to go down and check.”
“Oh, I can,” I volunteered, hoping to regain some trust by offering to do a small favor.
“No, no,” she said, waving her hand again. “Let one of the guys do it. Allen would have if he was here. Maybe Sean will. He’s not doing anything.”
“Where is Allen?” I asked. I had not seen him since I bolted out of the lunchroom.
“He went home. He’s not the socializing type,” said Lauren.
“Yeah, today in particular,” added Mindy next to Lauren. “He was really quiet today.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t just him,” I muttered dejectedly. “I know a lot of people must have not been happy with…well, you know, with Tyler and me. I actually want to talk to you guys about that. I’m sure it must have been upsetting.”
“I’m not sure if upsetting is the right word,” said Alaina contemplatively.
“Shocked, maybe,” Mindy mused. “But only at first when all of a sudden, you and Tyler popped up on the screen. But then seeing Talus trending and the number of views going up was pretty exciting.”
“Weren’t you upset that we took the spotlight away from all your hard work? I mean, Alaina, the Facial ID team had a huge contribution to the product launch. It’s your baby. And then all of a sudden it wasn’t the focus anymore.”
“I admit, I was in disbelief at first, and a little irritated. But then the comments started flooding in. A lot of people took interest in facial recognition and asked very good questions. We never had that sort of interaction before.”
“The comments addressing you, though…” Mindy said cautiously. “How are you dealing with it?”
“We saw you taking off,” added Alaina, her eyes full of sympathy. “We wanted to follow you, but Tyler was adamant he had things under control.”
I offered a weak smile. “I’m okay now. I just…didn’t want to lose my friends over this. I want you all to know that I have no intentions of taking advantage of Tyler’s position. That was never my intention in dating him. In fact, I have no aspirations to move up. I am perfectly happy where I am.”
“We understand,” assured Alaina. “You started dating him before his promotion. However,” her voice dropped to a grave tone, and my back straightened in anticipation, “there are people here that are indeed unhappy with you two. Some of them are on my team. It doesn’t matter to them that you two dated before his promotion, or that you guys made Talus go viral. They’ll still look down on both of you.”
“Right,” I agreed. “It’s really my friends’ support that I’m seeking right now. As long as you guys are okay with me, then I’ll be okay.”
“Of course, we got your back,” Alaina said warmly. “We may not agree on everything, and maybe we’ll even butt heads. But when you need us, we’ll be here for you.”
Lauren patted me on the shoulder. “We’re not kids anymore, Lana. You have reliable support around you now. I’m here for you. For real this time.”
I smiled ruefully at my friends. “Thank you, everyone.”
“Well, I wouldn’t mind you taking advantage of Tyler if we all can benefit from it,” Mindy said with a cheeky grin. “Do you think you can get him to bring us some alcohol?”
I peered over at the ping-pong table. Tyler had his blazer off and his sleeves rolled up on his forearms, looking mighty fine. One glance from me was all it took for him to take notice. He tilted his head in question and a ball zoomed past him. The other men raised their paddles up in victory, celebrating his missed shot. He tossed them a disdainful look before setting his paddle down and stepping away from the table.
“Hey, where are you going? You missed one shot and it’s game over? What a sore loser!”
“You guys keep playing. My baby is calling me.”
I flushed crimson while the others grimaced.
“What’s going on?” he asked once he had reached me.
I ran my hands up his firm forearms. “It’s only a small matter… but, apparently, vodka is being served downstairs.”
“Want me to get you some?”
“For all of us. And some juice to mix it with.”
“Kay.” He leaned down and pecked my forehead before looking back at his friends. “Arnav, let’s bring up some drinks.”
Anav, who had been standing on the sideline watching Frank and Sean play, nodded and followed Tyler downstairs.
Mindy gave a dreamy sigh. “Nice to have a boyfriend. I’m so jealous.”
My heart swelled with pride. I never felt more confident in my relationship with Tyler. It was trivial, really. But having the support of my friends made it incredibly easier to devote myself completely to him.
When Tyler returned, he brought along a trail of more engineers. Evidently, Arnav had broadcasted Tyler’s mad ping-pong skills, and now everyone wanted to either spectate or challenge him.
“You guys play it out, and I’ll play the finalist,” Tyler said dryly as he and Arnav propped cups along the coffee table, mixing vodka and cranberry juice in front of us.
“That would be me,” Arnav declared confidently.
Tyler smirked, handing me a cup and topping it with extra ice. “Then I’ve already won.”
“I’ve beaten you before,” Joe mentioned to Arnav. “You definitely cannot beat all of us.”
“Oh yeah? Well, come on, let’s go! You and me!”
They playfully threw jabs at each other while making their way over to the ping-pong table. The new group of men shifted along with them, circling behind the couch and claiming whoever was next. Meanwhile, Tyler grabbed a bottle of beer from a side table and perched at the edge of the armrest, our hands interweaving as he watched the game unfold.
I squeezed his hand to grab his attention. “You can go play. I know you want to.”
He gazed down at me with the bottle halfway to his lips. “What do you mean?”
“It’s okay, Tyler. You can admit it. I think it’s rather cool of you, actually.”
He looked away, gnawing the inside of his mouth. A noticeable flush crept up his neck, reddening his ears. “I’ll be back in a little bit,” he murmured, all bashful.
I suppressed a giggle. “Take your time.”
Giving me a chaste kiss on the cheek, Tyler handed me his beer, then darted off to join the rest of his crew.
Lauren chuckled beside me. “What’s he so embarrassed about? He’s the best player here.”
“He’s afraid of coming off as nerdy in front of me.”
“Is ping-pong nerdy?”
“I guess,” I said, shrugging.
“Well, if it comes to you, he has nothing to worry about. You always had a thing for nerds.”
“That’s what I told him.”
“Because they’re the ones who make money,” someone sneered from behind me.
I glanced over the couch at the cluster of men who all seemed to be occupied, observing the match. Whoever made the comment now appeared to be acting nonchalant, too much of a coward to come at me directly.
Lauren snorted, her eyes rolling dramatically as she hollered, “What an asshole. Some things never change. I mean, it takes two to tango. How come no one’s saying anything about Tyler?”
“Maybe because he’s sorta the boss?” I answered roughly like it was obvious.
“Psh! Take advantage of what you’re given. Any assholes who mess with you, just report them to Tyler and he’ll take care of them for you.” She turned and glared at the surrounding men, daring anyone to step forward.
I tugged on Lauren’s arm, reining her in. “Shh! Honestly, it’s okay. We’ve talked about it, and if anything should happen, I’d be the first to leave. I’m okay with that. Though, Tyler isn’t—”
“Did someone call for me?” Tyler asked, swooping over the back of the couch to peck my lips and grabbing his beer from my hand.
“Oh, um…” I stammered, staring up at him. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he chugged his beer. The chords of his neck had me lost in thought when he slowly lowered his bottle and quirked his brow. Realizing he was waiting for an answer, I blinked out of my reverie, shaking my head to clear away the daze. “Um…what were we talking about?” I asked Lauren.
She laughed. “About how you’d be the first to leave should something happen.”
“I never agreed to such a thing!” Tyler said, his face contorted in abhorrence.
“No, but you said we’d reconvene.”
“Yes, which meant we’d find out who’s causing you trouble and remove that person.”
I groaned under my breath. “You’re not imagining what it’s like to be in their shoes right now,” I said, thumbing at the group behind us. “If you were hearing this conversation from their point of view, you’d find it ridiculously unfair.”
“Well, they should imagine being in your shoes,” said Lauren. “It’s unfair for you to be shamed simply for liking someone. You always think that you’re the one who needs to be punished. But, you know what?” She waved her hands like the topic was not worth discussing. “I know where this is all coming from, and I’m telling you, you need to give yourself a break.”
Looking up at Tyler, who had lowered himself back onto the armrest, Lauren continued, speaking matter-of-factly, “Something similar to the picture has happened to Lana before. She was shamed for kissing a guy, while the guy was praised. That’s why she’s so sensitive about all this.”
I nearly choked on my drink just as Lauren casually refilled her cup. Although what she had said was vague, it was too revealing for Tyler. Despite his interest in my past, he wanted to know nothing regarding my previous relationships. And since I had been mummed about every historical detail of my life, this little known fact opened a whole new world for him.
“Really?” he said, his eyes boring through the top of my head. I shrunk in my seat, anticipating him to scold me for not sharing this information earlier on the terrace. However, he surprised me by snaking an arm around me. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. You must hate me for putting you through it a second time.”
I chanced a glance at him. Instead of judgment followed by a flood of condescending questions, there was sympathy in his gaze; a sense of understanding. Something left me at the moment. Uncertainty. Uncertainty regarding him. Uncertainty regarding us.
I intertwined our fingers and brought the back of his hand to my lips. “Well, it’s different this time. I love the person I kissed, whereas before, it was just a guy from high school who I didn’t even care about.”
His eyes lit up with interest — not reproach. Knowing how he resented women who played around with men, this came by as another surprise.
“High school, huh?” he goaded. “First, a cheerleader, now a scandal? You must have been troublesome in high school.” He leaned in, kissing my cheek, his mouth grazing close to my ear as he murmured, “I’m gonna need to take a closer look at that scrapbook.”
“Oh no!” I laughed, shoving his face away. “No way are you seeing that scrapbook again.”
“You saw the scrapbook?” Lauren inquired shockingly, her face a look of terror.
“Just a little bit before Lana, quite literally, threw herself at me to stop me from looking.”
“That’s one way to distract a man,” she chortled. “How far did you get?”
“Not far. She jumped off of me before I could pin her down.”
“I meant the scrapbook,” she groaned in exasperation.
Tyler grinned playfully. “Maybe somewhere in elementary?”
“Oh.” Lauren’s shoulders drooped with relief. “That’s not too bad then.”
“Now I’m even more curious. What’s in there? It can’t be that embarrassing. You said you were popular in high school,” he said to me. “Isn’t that something you’d want to show off?”
“She might have been popular, but the scrapbook won’t showcase that,” answered Lauren. “She was in a lot of nerdy activities.”
“What sort of activities?”
Lauren glanced at me, seeking permission to continue, just as I had done to her when Zoey requested more embarrassing details. Feeling assured now that Tyler wouldn't find my past behavior too despicable, I nodded for her to proceed. She gave me a wicked smirk before leaning towards the edge of her seat, obviously excited to execute her revenge.
“Lana participated in, like, every club possible. NHS, chess, speech and debate, theater—”
“You were a theater nerd?” Tyler turned astonished eyes to me, his lips turned up in a wide, bemused grin.
I frowned, offended by his poor labeling. “What’s wrong with theater? It was great fun.”
“Spring musical to be exact,” specified Lauren, her eyes twinkling with mischief.
Tyler threw his head back laughing. “Sorry, I just can’t imagine you singing and dancing on stage. Was it more like backstage stuff?”
My jaw dropped. “What’s wrong with me that you can’t see me front and center?”
“She had a key speaking and singing role,” Lauren added to my defense. “You know the Peanut gang, right? Well, she played Sally, from You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown.”
At this, Tyler cracked up uncontrollably. I glared at him with a curled lip. Catching my displeasure, he cupped his mouth and tried to stifle his laugh, but failed miserably. “I’m sorry,” he coughed up, still guffawing. Tucking me into his side, he gave my shoulder a little shake. “But Sally? As in Charlie Brown’s sister? A white girl with blonde hair? And then there’s you…” He motioned to my face.
“Oh, Lana didn’t look like this in high school. She had blonde hair and wore much heavier makeup. You wouldn’t have been able to tell she was Asian.”
Tyler abruptly stopped his laughter, his eyes widening. “You had blonde hair?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes,” I admitted bitterly. “I’m not proud of it. Let’s just say I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin in high school.”
“Hm. I didn’t know that.” His brows dipped slightly, pausing at the thought before shaking his head dismissively. “So, were you also participating in these activities?” he asked Lauren.
She nodded. “Oh yeah. We went everywhere together.”
“To college too?”
“No,” Lauren sighed. “Lana ended up moving. I went to San Jose State while she—”
“Wait, what do you mean she moved? You mean you moved.”
“No,” she emphasized like he was five. “She moved. I stayed here in the Bay Area. She left for Arizona.”
“What?” He removed his arm from my shoulders. “The two of you are not from Arizona?”
“Hell no!” Lauren exclaimed. “We’re born and raised in the Bay Area. I’d never leave to burn in literal hell like Lana did.”
“You lived here? All your life?” he asked me, frustration rising in his voice.
I pulled back, wary and confused by his overreaction to the apparent news. Of all things considered, why did that particular fact have him so perplexed? Feeling hesitant now, I carefully explained, “Well, I only grew up here in the Bay. Then I went to Arizona for college, and stayed there until I got this job.”
“You never mentioned it. From your inexperience with the area, I always thought you grew up in Arizona.”
“No.” I shook my head on a small smile. “I lived here, near my aunt’s house actually. In Sunnyvale. I just didn’t like traveling up to San Francisco, and I had no reason to step foot inside your neighborhood.” I offered a nervous chuckle to lighten the mood, but he was no longer listening. He appeared lost and confused as he processed this new information.
I tilted my head, studying him quizzically. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he curtly replied with an automatic shake of his head, his eyes still hazy with thought.
Disconcerted, I searched Lauren’s face to see if she had any inkling as to what we could have said that would have offended Tyler to this state. She appeared equally lost, shrugging to suggest she didn’t know what happened either.
“What high school did you two attend?” he abruptly demanded.
Lauren and I exchanged wary glances. I subtly shook my head at her, indicating not to answer. He would certainly piece the puzzle together in a flash.
Lauren laughed anxiously as a response. “Look, the point is, Lana was—”
“What. High. School?” Tyler repeated, punching out each word. His face was turning more grim by the second.
Lauren pursed her lips and turned to me for help. Instantly, regret washed over me. How foolish of me to think I could have been as carefree as Lauren when it came to sharing my past. Nothing about me could be shared with joy and laughter. With a sigh, I reluctantly answered, “Murphy High.”
“Class of 2007,” he muttered, not as a question, but as an undeniable fact.
An ominous silence fell among the three of us. The bleak tension seemed to permeate the air as the once cheerful atmosphere noticeably dwindled. Lauren and I held our breaths, aware that Tyler’s dreadful conclusion would come next.
“That’s the year...the graduation ceremony…” He drifted off, as if he had lost the ability to speak. I clung onto what little hope I had that he would be forgiving and accept me, like how he had repeatedly said he would. For the first time, I desperately wished to be seen as a hero, if not to anyone, then to him. But that dash of hope was completely obliterated when Tyler straightened himself, his jaw pulsing menacingly as he leered at me with cold, harsh eyes. Then, with a deep voice heavily weighted with contempt, he hammered in the final missing piece. “The train.”